He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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