Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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