That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Randomize
