giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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