Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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