tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He passed out mid-signature
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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