so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
