I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
