Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
