I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
