You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
