1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
