I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
