I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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