i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
