How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
