Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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