White coat. Heels.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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