I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
