if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
