Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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