They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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