at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
