Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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