it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
