Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
