I want to make a zoo with you.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
