I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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