Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Come on in and take your pants off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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