don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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