Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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