I have demons in me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
