It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
