On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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