Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
