i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
