I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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