Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
