for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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