yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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