Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
