1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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