So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
