I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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