There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
