good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
