I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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