Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
