i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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