omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
