whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
