Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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