You really coming over, don't trick.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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