I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Bring me that man meat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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