then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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