oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
