All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize