he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
