Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize