he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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