We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
